If you wanted to feel old, it’s now been 4 years since the last Star Wars movie, and to say they’re a mixed bag is being kind. While Disney’s focused solely on the streaming content since then, Bob Iger returning as CEO might bring back confidence to give Star Wars another try in theaters. So, what better time for me to finally share my ranking of all the Disney Star Wars films? We’ll go over the best and worst of each entry, while keeping things fun and positive!
Garbage Tier Last Place: Solo: A Star Wars Story
This is it- the only Star Wars movie that was considered a financial loss. Out of all the standalone character movies that fans vocally wanted (Obi-Wan, Maul, Vader, Boba Fett), Disney decided to choose…none of them.
The Best Parts: Donald Glover is perfectly cast as a young Lando Calrissian (the same can’t be said about young uncharismatic Han Solo himself). The ending scene with Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke) joining Darth Maul (!!) made me realize I’d rather have watched that movie, but unfortunately there’s not going to be a sequel.
The Worst Parts: The whole film is a stupid story of how Han Solo got his blaster, ship, friend, and even name in the most underwhelming ways possible. But the absolute worst award goes to the (appropriately) absolute worst Star Wars character ever, L3-37. This incessantly talking “robot rights” droid suffocates every scene and makes Lando a loser who dates (and bangs?!) robots. At the end she dies and loses all of her rights by becoming the nav computer in the Millennium Falcon, and it’s odd nobody at Disney saw how darkly ironic that was. This movie is Bantha fodder.
#4: Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Rian Johnson did the impossible with The Last Jedi– somehow sucking 4 years of positive Star Wars hype dry in only 2.5 hours! The Last Jedi throws out all of the story setup from the first movie, kills all the interesting characters, and then leaves Rise of Skywalker to somehow come up with a finale. That’s not subverting expectations- that’s just bad writing.
The Good: Visually, it’s the most stunning film of the trilogy. It’s the perfect modern blockbuster- big budget visuals and music, mixed with terrible writing (how’s it going, Rings of Power?).
The Bad: Take your pick- Leia flying through space like Mary Poppins or crotchety Luke drinking green milk straight from the gross space manatee boobs. It’s the sequel we never wanted for these classic characters. This is a whole extra can of worms, but the movie itself really likes to hate on established Star Wars elements in the dumbest way possible- remember when Rose crashes into Finn on the battlefield to comically kiss him and “defeat the First Order with love instead of fighting?” Yikes.
#3: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
This is the movie that made us realize that no, Disney most certainly did not plan out any of the trilogy story, despite their own 4-billion-dollar investment.
The Good: I’ll say it- I enjoy JJ Abrams’ take on Star Wars. Rise of Skywalker actually likes classic Star Wars, building up heroes who fight against the Dark Side instead of The Last Jedi’s contemporary, cynical take on everything. It was honestly fun to see Palpatine come back as an even grosser version and he would have been perfect if it weren’t such an obvious last-minute, unexplained addition. Also, that Death Star duel with Rey and Kylo was pretty epic.
The Bad: Things just…happen with the plot, with the movie frantically trying to pick up all the pieces that The Last Jedi knocked down. A giant Imperial fleet from nowhere? Might as well, not like we’re earning any other moments! Put in Lando? Sure, why not! At least he’s not dating a toaster.
#2: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
The first Star Wars project from Disney! It avoided a lot of the issues people had with the prequels, and made bank in theaters.
The Good: This movie surprised everyone with how fun it was to jump back into classic Star Wars, and while the later movies soured opinion, at the time, people were diving deep into theories, such as “who’s Rey?” and “who’s Snoke?”. Turns out Disney didn’t know, either. The return of Harrison Ford and Chewabacca, practical effects instead of heavy CGI, and a bangin’ John Williams soundtrack made for a fun ride.
The Bad: The Force Awakens set up a promising story that ultimately had no ending planned, with interesting characters who floundered with development in later films. The biggest criticism is it followed the familiar story beats of A New Hope (Sand Planet beginning, crazy creature showcase moment, main character heroically sacrificing himself, big space battle finale with big thing blowing up), but so did Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace.
#1: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
This was peak Disney Star Wars, before the dark times. Who knew that a random story about nameless Rebels would be the best film? Even more surprising is the spinoff series Andor turned into some of the best streaming content of last year, period (also check my TV page for fun reviews of each episode!).
The Good: Unlike The Last Jedi, Rogue One dramatically subverts the Star Wars formula while still being a great Star Wars movie. It’s a tense, gritty tale with perfectly cast new characters and unique planets, but it doesn’t forget its roots- they even inserted unused Rebel pilot footage from A New Hope into the finale! And that Vader hallway scene? Goosebumps, every time.
The Bad: I’m glad Grand Moff Tarkin appears here because he’s a fantastic villain who belongs in the story of his beloved superweapon facility. Unfortunately, his photo-realistic CGI still can’t avoid the uncanny valley feeling. Even more distracting is CGI Leia at the end, who looks way more fake due to them giving her a baby doll face with no blemishes.
And that’s the list- if you have a different take (and what fan doesn’t), let me know below! Also, if you want more Star Wars talk, just click the Star Wars tag!
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